People often say yes to everything that is asked of them because they find it hard to say no. Does this sound like you?
Before my life got so crazy that I thought I was going to lose my mind, I would have never thought of myself as one of those people. As a psychologist, it’s ironic that I help people deal with stress so they don’t feel like they’re going crazy.
If I say yes to someone, only death will stop me from keeping my promise. I’m guilty of saying yes to requests until I’m no longer able to keep my word. But the weight of all my tasks made me feel like I was going to die.
It’s important to know that it doesn’t matter who you are. You can become an expert at dealing with stress but stress will keep coming after you anyway. That is just a simple fact. And no matter what kind of stress comes our way, we should have a toolbox ready to help us deal with it.
The good news is that we are in this difficult situation because we put ourselves there.
Are you the type of person who finds it hard to say “no”? There could be many reasons why it’s hard for you to say “no.” No matter what the reason, this method, which I’ve used with many people, seems to work. (I also use it).
It isn’t necessary to say “no.”
Tell the person the truth. “I really would love to be able to help you.” “I really want to be able to help you.”
If it is true, it is much easier to say.
After that, tell them the other part of the truth.
“I don’t have time, and you need this done quickly.”
“I don’t know enough or have enough skill to do a good job on this.”
“I already have so much to do that before I could say yes, I would have to figure out what I would have to put off.”
“If I told you yes, I would end up letting you down.”
In either case, the other person would know that if you could, you would accept. Or they’ll understand that if they insist on you saying yes, they shouldn’t be surprised if you fail to honor your commitment.
Tell them you don’t want to disappoint them. You don’t want to let them down. You don’t want to break the promise you made.
If you’re worried about upsetting someone if you say no, think about how much worse it would be to let them down after you’ve shown them you can be trusted. It’s best to be open and honest with them so they can find someone who can say yes.
Try that the next time someone comes up to you and asks for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.